


Anthony, a perfectly good name

by AnnaWritesFiction



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Ancient Rome, Aziraphale/Crowley if you squint - Freeform, Ficlet, Fluff, M/M, Mark Antony and Cleopatra, Pining, Softie Crowley (Good Omens), discussions, ineffable husbands
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-06
Updated: 2019-09-06
Packaged: 2020-11-01 23:04:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20538215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnnaWritesFiction/pseuds/AnnaWritesFiction
Summary: “How very dare you, angel. I am not soft, I am anything but. It’s all a matter of perspective. And common logic. And anyway, if Heaven likes Augustus and I don’t, that automatically makes it rather demonic of me, does it not?”“Not really. I think you’ve always had a soft spot for Mark Antony.”“Nonsense.”"You chose the name Antony."





	Anthony, a perfectly good name

“You know what. The Roman Empire, great and all. But Augustus_. Augustus_.”

“What about him?”

“Self important little prick.”

“Oh? Upstairs always thought highly of-of- I mean. He _did_ bring stability to the old place.”

“By convincing them_ they no longer needed a democracy_!”

“Persuasive young man, he was.”

“And that stunt he pulled against Mark Anthony? What a wanker.”

“Funny thing, I always thought that was one of yours. I mean. Stolen will? Definitely something your lot would appreciate.”

“Well, I did get a commendation for that ridiculous incident, though I was nowhere near either Augustus or Anthony that day.”

“Now that you mention, neither was I. Which brings me to the inevitable question. _Where _was I?”

“With me, probably. I remember a lot of drinking. _ Quite extraordinary amounts of wine_. You know, I had many quibbles with the Romans. Drama queens, the lot of them. Not quite right in the head, what with the macabre clocks and all that. But the _grapes._”

“Scrumptious.”

“They don’t make them like they used to. Grapes. Nowhere near as…”

“Grapey?”

“Yes! And there’s the other thing-

“What other thing?”

“Wait. I forgot. We were talking about…?”

“Mark Antony.”

“Yes. And-

“Augustus.”

“What a prick!”

“My dear, you do realize there would have been no Roman Empire without him? No Byzantium? That’s half of your commendations and half of mine, Crowley. Byzantium. And the architecture! The _churches!_”

“The churches? Seriously? Have we met?”

“Well, maybe not the churches, for your lot. The fratricides, perhaps?”

“You’re missing the point! The point is- the point- is. Nothing good ever came out of the whole _‘emperor, son of a god’_ business. It gets to a monarch’s head, let me tell you, and I’ve been around a lot, and I mean a_ lot_, of those. Just look at that absolute nutcase, Henry the eighth-

“But he gave us _Elizabeth_! Don’t you see, dear, it’s all part of a plan. You can’t have something good without a few sacrifices along the way. That’s causality for you.”

“I am pretty sure that’s not what _causality_ means, angel.”

“Oh? Like you insisted gorillas don’t build nests?”

“And _anyway_, ‘a few sacrifices’? That doesn’t sound very angelic, does it? I didn’t think your side were so _Mach- Mach-_

“You mean _Mach- machiav-_

“_The ends justify the means_, that sort of thing. You have a penchant for idolising people with some very dubious morals. Even by my own standards.”

“You fail to look at the bigger picture, Crowley. And besides, _your standards_? Now that both Upstairs and Downstairs are no longer breathing down our necks, I am finally allowed to say it: you’ve never been particularly demonic, my dear. You like to sport all those dramatic outfits and hide your eyes behind shades and throw tandrums at the mere sound of the word ‘nice’, but your heart is soft. Moreso than mine, if I may add.”

“Excuse me?”

“_Soft.”_

“How very dare you, angel. I am not soft, I am _anything but_. It’s all a matter of perspective. And common logic. And anyway, if Heaven likes Augustus and I don’t, that automatically makes it rather demonic of me, does it not?”

“Not really. I think you’ve always had a soft spot for Anthony.”

“Nonsense.”

“You _chose_ the name Anthony.”

“A perfectly good name, common to many male specimens across the ages.”

“Perhaps.”

“I mean, Anthony, what an idiot. Can you imagine, Alexandria? Capital of the Roman Empire? Preposterous. Where would we be now?”

“Well, perhaps somewhere different. Perhaps not. Anyway, my dear, I know you. And after six thousand years of knowing you I am confident in my initial assessment. You have a soft spot for Anthony.”

“Well, okay. If you really want to know, I do.”

“Imagine that.”

“Oh, don’t be so bloody smug about it. It’s not like I fail to see your point, cause I do. Issss just. I also _underssstand _him. Out of the two, he was the human one. Everything that led to his downfall was not a product of- of. Ambition. No. It wasss. It. _Was._”

“Cleopatra.”

“Yes. You sssssee, they tried to elope together. They probably knew it would go down the way it did, and yet. They did it anyway.”

“And died.”

“And died. But you misssssed one important detail.”

“Hm?”

“Persssspective, angel. Already sssaid it- perssspective.”

“I fail to see your point.”

“They died, but firssssst they got to **_live_**.” 

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally posted on Tumblr: https://annamarcellipalmer.tumblr.com/post/187350025358/anthony-a-perfectly-good-name


End file.
